


Halves

by JustLyra



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: D/s, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2013-11-16
Packaged: 2017-12-31 05:35:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1027848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustLyra/pseuds/JustLyra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What can Kimi teach an unhappy Nico?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Nico downed his vodka and winced at the burn of it going down his throat. His face contorted in pain and it elicited a low chuckle from his companion.

'How come you ishn't drunk yet?' he asked. 

'I'm a Finn' came the simple reply.

'I'm a Finn,' he quickly retorted 'Well half a Finn.'

There was a low sadness in his voice. Kimi couldn't think of anything useful to say so he opted for the Kimi school of cheering up - a slap on the back and a refill of vodka.

They sit in the bar in silence for a while - Nico secretly wishing he'd gone to the Red Bull party and Kimi wishing the cute redhead he'd been watching would head back to the dancefloor again.

'I think that's my problem you know?'

Kimi just looked at him and raised an eyebrow in question. He didn't mind being Nico's sounding-board, but he really couldn't be bothered asking him lots of questions. That is what his girlfriend was for.

'I'm a half. Never quite a whole. Just a half.' 

'Britney, what the fuck are you talking about?'

Nico felt a tear roll down his cheek and was too drunk to care if Kimi saw it.

'I'm a half of everything..........Half a Finn..........Half as good as her ex in bed..........Half look like a girl..........Half as good as my Dad..........That's me, Nico the half Rosberg.'

'You do a whole lot of self-pity.' Kimi looked up with a sly smile on his face, but stopped grinning as soon as he seen Nico's face. 

'What's going on Bri..Nico?'

'Everything. Nothing is complete..........I'm not anything. I'm too German to be Finnish, but I'm too Finnish to be German and I'm too foreign to be Monegasque.' 

Nico's eyes looked utterly despondent as he sadly refilled his glass.

'So you don't belong to a country - so what? We don't spend enough time anywhere to belong anywhere anyway. I'm away from Finland too much to be properly Finnish and I'm too opinionated to be Swiss.'

'You are a Finn. You are quiet and mysterious and you drink vodka like it's water. I talk too much and I prefer beer to Vodka.'

'So you are more German than Finnish. That's not a problem.'

'I'm not though..........I'm always late. You can't be a proper German and not be on time! And I have a sense of humour, that's not German.'

'Ok so you aren't German or Finnish. Who cares? When you retire you'll live somewhere for years and years and years and then you'll belong. It's the job Br..Nico. It's just the job.'

Nico snorted, 'The job. The glorious F1 paddock. Yet another fucking place I don't belong.'

'You are a race winner. You belong.' 

Kimi's face was deadly serious. He could understand not belonging, when you spend so much time in so many places in random hotel rooms meant it was easy to lose sight of where you belonged.

'Seriously mate, you have been around the paddock since before you could walk. Rosberg and F1 are synonymous with each other.'

'Keke Rosberg and F1,' Nico replied bitterly, 'Keke Roseberg, not Rosberg and not Nico Rosberg. One race Kimi..........one race. That's all I've won. I'll never win a title like my Dad did. No wonder she dumped me.'

'Ah. Now we're getting onto it. What happened?'

'She said I'm a whinger,' He steadfastly ignored Kimi's small smirk and continued ranting, 'I mean I was just saying that I was struggling and she went off on one. Apparently I whinge more than her ex, I am away far more than her ex and then just to make me feel even better he is better in bed than me.'

'In what way?' 

Nico looked at Kimi incredulously, 'Well we can't fix your not belonging and we can't take your Dad's title away, but maybe we can fix..........'

'I'm not shit in bed!' Nico sat back down blushing furiously almost as quickly as he'd jumped up to squeak at Kimi. He looked up and spotted that Kimi was laughing. Properly laughing. 

'It's not funny Kimi! I'm not shit in bed, really I'm not. Well, I don't think so. I mean, no-one has ever complained before. Not that there's been many women like, but the ones there has been haven't complained.'

'Have any of the guys ever complained?'

Kimi had stopped laughing, when Nico looked up he was staring right into his eyes. Nico opened his mouth to speak, but when he tried to form words nothing came out. Internally he was panicking, how could he know? 

'You do a whole impression of a goldfish,' Kimi smirked. Nico glowered at him, hoping that Kimi would let his previous question drop, but knowing that he would end up answering him. It's what happened when Kimi asked you a question. There was something about the rarity of them that meant you just couldn't not answer. He picked up his glass and downed the vodka. Kimi was just waiting, he knew that Nico needed time to answer him and he still wasn't sure where this night was going.

'Never'

'Never what?'

'They've never complained..........any of the guys, they've never complained.' Nico's voice was nearly a whisper and his hands were shaking.

'So, what is she complaining about?'

'Kimi?!'

'What? How can I help you if I don't know what she's complaining about?'

'Well..........I mean she's never complained before. It can't be that bad, can it? If it was that bad she'd have said something sooner, right?'

Kimi smiled at him softly, 'Mate women are fucking weird. They go for years not saying anything. I dunno why, I fucking wouldn't if it was shit, but they don't say. They just expect you to know and then if you don't they fake it and then one day they slap you in the face with it. Like you should have been some sort of orgasm mind-reader..........What's she complaining about?'

'She said I rush too much and I'm too gentle. I mean what does that even mean? How can you be too gentle? I treat her like a lady, what's so bad about that?'

'Maybe she likes it rough'

Nico nearly choked on his vodka. Kimi couldn't help, but smirk at that. Nico was nice, he'd been nice as long as Kimi had known him, but Kimi reckoned there would be a naughty side in there somewhere. He had a long, slow drink of his vodka while he pondered his next move. Over Nico's shoulder he could see the redhead back on the dancefloor. She looked fun, but she was just another girl in another bar. There would be other girls in bars in Singapore or Sao Paolo or wherever he ended up in a bar next. Nico however, Nico would probably never get this drunk in Kimi's company again. A slow smile spread across his face.

'Drink up mate, we're going.'  
'Where are we going?'  
'My room. I can't teach you the things you need to know here.'

With that he winked at Nico, downed his drink and headed for the door. All before Nico had even remembered to breathe again. Kimi paused at the door..........

'You coming or what?'

Nico simply nodded and followed him out of the door. Nervous. Scared. Excited. All of the above....  
 


	2. Lesson One

Kimi watched Nico fidget from foot to foot by the window as he poured himself a drink from the mini-bar. He chucked Nico a beer, using the amount of time it took him to struggle to open it as a guide to just how nervous the half-Finn was. 

'Nico, relax for fuck's sake. It's just us. Just one mate helping another.'

Kicking off his trainers and settling down on the sofa Kimi stayed silent. He remembered the first time another driver had made a move on him. That 'is he actually doing this or am I imagining it and about to fuck up everything AND get a punch' feeling. Most people hated that feeling, but he didn't. After the first time he thrived on it, but Nico was different and he knew that he needed time. Eventually Nico grabbed himself another beer and slumped down on the sofa next to him.

'Why didn't she say before? I'd have tried to be better or tried..........stuff. If that is what she wanted.'

'She probably didn't know. They never fucking know what they want. You can give them everything they ask for and still at some point you'll be getting called a selfish bastard because you didn't give them something you didn't fucking know they wanted..........In fact at some point in your life you'll get called a selfish bastard because you didn't give her something SHE didn't even know she wanted.'

'Why though? What is the point in that?' sighed Nico.

'Honestly?..........I don't have a fucking clue. It's just the way they are. Life would be much easier if people could just admit what they wanted, what they liked....'

'I like guys and girls,' Nico gasped at his own tipsy honesty, clasping his hand over his mouth before dissolving into giggles. 'I can't believe I just said that.'

'So do I.' Came Kimi's simple reply causing Nico to gasp again, and then dissolve into giggles again.

'You?......You like guys as well as girls? But you're Kimi?'

'I hadn't forgotten who I am,' Kimi replied dryly.

Nico tucked his legs under him and turned towards Kimi on his knees. The giggling face had been replaced with a curious one.

'Don't look at me like that Nico. Puppy dog eyes won't make me bare my soul to you. If you want my help I'll give you it, but it's not going to turn me into a chatterbox.'

'What if you end up disappointed in me as well?'

'I won't.'

'What if you do though? Everyone else is, her, my Dad, the team....'

'I won't end up disappointed in you,' Kimi turned to him with a sly smile, 'I'm a bloody good teacher........Kiss me'

Nico was fairly sure the neighbours heard his squeak. He wasn't expecting Kimi to be quite so.....Kimi about it.

'Nico. If you want me to help you then I need to know what you can do.'

Desperately trying to ignore the butterflies, bloody big butterflies wearing heavy boots, in his stomach Nico took a deep breath and leaned forward closing his eyes as his lips gently touched Kimi's. He paused for a few seconds and then pulled away, nervously biting his lip.

'Riiiight.....now that you've kissed your mother goodbye you can actually kiss me now'

As Nico fidgeted Kimi put two fingers under his chin to tilt his head up until their eyes met. 'You can't do anything wrong with me Nico. I'm not going to have a go at you, I'm not going to laugh at you and I'm not going to be disappointed in you.'

Nico decided not to try and speak. He didn't think he'd actually get the words out so he tilted his head towards Kimi's and tried the whole kissing thing again. This time he didn't jump away, but let himself be lost in the unexpected softness of Kimi's lips. Tentatively he brushed his tongue against his teacher's bottom lip and felt a tingle shoot to his belly as admittance was instantly granted. As their tongues danced a slow dance he let his hands rest on Kimi's shoulders. Pulling away slightly he blew a soft kiss onto Kimi's lips and sat back on his heels waiting to hear his opinion.

'Don't look so nervous Nico. That was nice, absolutely nothing wrong with it at all. Want to try it my way?'

Without actually waiting for a reply Kimi wrapped his hand around the back of Nico’s neck and pulled him towards him until, eyes locked together, their lips touch. The kiss started soft and slow like the last one, but quickly the heat began to build. Kimi’s lips pressed harder and his tongue demanded entry, invading Nico’s mouth and seeking out his tongue for a hard, desperate almost, dance. Nico could feel his toes begin to curl as the heat from the kiss travelled down his body and he let out an audible gasp as Kimi’s fingers tangled in his hair, not gently, but not in a badly painful way either. Everything except Kimi was completely lost to Nico, he was only vaguely aware of his own hands gripping onto Kimi tightly as Kimi’s free hand gripped his hip. Kimi pulled away slowly nipping Nico’s bottom lip with his teeth as they parted leaving Nico resting against his shoulder gasping for breath.

'That was....' Nico frantically searched for a word.

'Lesson one.' said Kimi simply.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another lesson for Nico.

"Have you given Seb lessons like this?" Nico asked, steadfastly ignoring the Kimi stare he was receiving, "I think I'm quite like Seb in lots of ways. Not on the track obviously, but otherwise. I mean we're both German, well kinda, we're both racers, we're both chatty, we're both blond and we both like music. Yes, I think we're quite alike."

"Yeah, you are just like twins....."

"There's no need to be sarcastic. I was just saying. So, have you?"

"Would you like me to lie down on the couch while I pour all of my secrets out to you? Or would you rather get on with your next lesson?"

"Erm, well. I suppose I do really need the help. So...." Nico was suddenly very nervous again.

"If you want my help then you have to ask for it. If you can't take charge and own what you want then you can't have it." 

Kimi smirked as he watched Nico flounder as he tried to work out what to say. He was being mean and he knew it, but he was incredibly curious to see exactly how far Nico would go. The way Nico had reacted to Kimi's kiss had made him realise exactly why the half-German-half-Finn was considered too gentle by his girlfriend, but he'd wait a few more lessons before filling him in.

"I....well I....the thing is....." Nico paused and took a deep breath. "Iwouldlikeyourhelpbecause....... Iwanttoknowhowtofuckgoodandmakethemcomeproperly.........please"

"Sure thing." said Kimi, in a tone that suggested Nico had just asked him something normal and everyday which left Nico pondering just how often Kimi gave lessons like this. He didn't have long to wonder before Kimi's latest order brought that delicious (so Kimi thought) squeak out of him once again.

"I want you to get me hard, without touching my cock."

"But, how? Why? I don't...."

"Your girlfriend doesn't have a cock does she?" Nico shook his head from side-to-side slowly, apparently having lost the power of speech once again. "Well then, there is no point in you making me hard by sucking me off because when you take her, or any woman, to bed that's not a skill that is going to help."

It was amazing to Nico just how logical that actually sounded. A bit like when he was told it was pointless to learn to drive in an automatic because once you could drive a manual, you could drive an automatic, but it didn't work the other way round. Why was he even actually thinking about driving lessons at this moment anyway? What did driving lessons have in common with sucking, or not as the case may be, Kimi's cock? Thankfully Kimi's slight cough brought him back to earth before he got too lost in comparisons between gearsticks and...

"Nico, if you don't want to do this then you can just leave. You don't have to do anything you are not comfortable with. I don't mind either way. I'll not be offended if you turn down my help."

"No, no, I want you...I mean I want your help."

"Right. So you get me hard without touching my cock and then I'll do the same for you. After that we can compare notes and techniques. Okay?"

"Okay....."

Taking a few deep breaths to settle himself. Nico tentatively leaned into Kimi giving him a gentle kiss and then tried to increase the heat the way Kimi had earlier. He made his tongue demanding, but not overpowering against Kimi's. His hands stroked gently up Kimi's sides, then danced his finger tips across Kimi's collarbone eliciting a low groan from his teacher which brought a small smile to his lips. 

Spurred on by his ability to make Kimi groan he kissed lightly down and along Kimi's jaw and down to his neck. Nibbling gently he had to fight with his own body not to get lost in Kimi's manly smell, an aroma that mixed together cologne, stale smoke, a hint of champagne and just Kimi-ness. With fumbling fingers he tried to coordinate opening Kimi's shirt whilst still nibbling. Pushing the shirt halves aside he kissed and licked down to Kimi's collarbone, hoping to bring out the same groan again. He almost beamed with pride when he nibbled at a certain point and Kimi groaned, even louder than before, and pushed his groin up towards Nico. 

Feeling braver by second Nico leaned up onto his right knee and lifted his left over and straddled the Finn's left leg, pressing his thigh towards Kimi's centre. He travelled his mouth down from the collarbone to his nipple and started to tease with his tongue. Not getting much response he tried sucking a little, but when that didn't work his confidence suddenly crashed and he had to ask. Kimi hated questions and he felt fucking stupid, but he had to ask.

"What's wrong?.......What have I done wrong?" Taking his leg back over and sinking back onto his heels the desolate puppy eyes were back again.

"Nothing Nico." Kimi turned to him and took his hand. "You did nothing wrong. Feel." 

He smiled when Nico squeaked again when he pressed his hand against his half hard cock. He could think of a million ways to make him make that noise and none of them were things he'd be adverse to. He had to build Nico's confidence a bit first.

"You were doing fine. I don't have sensitive nipples, maybe it's from spending all the time in the snow or something, but you need to be pretty hard with them to get anything from it. You found my sweet spot though - twice. Honestly a little bit longer there and I'd have been rock hard........You ready to try it my way?"

Nico wasn't entirely sure why Kimi bothered asking since he'd thrown him onto his back before he'd had a chance to answer. His wicked smile sent a shiver down Nico's spine. Resting on his left arm half draped over Nico's body Kimi used his index finger to trace over Nico's lips. His touch was so light Nico couldn't help, but press into it. Keeping his hypnotic eyes firmly locked on Nico's he slowly moved his head closer and closer and then his wet tongue slipped out to follow the path his finger had taken. Gently he licked over Nico's top lip making the younger man open his mouth slightly almost begging it to come in and making him whine when he cruelly stopped and licked his own lips.

Slowly, painfully slowly, Kimi lowered his head until his lips were just millimetres away from Nico's and then after a brief pause, just long enough to make Nico's hips twitch, they were together. Lips crashing together, Kimi's tongue forcing its way into Nico's mouth, in a repeat of the previous kiss. Within seconds Nico was panting and wriggling, but Kimi's weight and firm hand on his neck kept him pinned close.

He squeaked again when Kimi's mouth left his, but instantly locked onto his neck. Licking and sucking at his pulse point, just over and over again. Nico's head was spinning, trying to get air into his lungs was proving difficult because of Kimi's weight and his tongue and his firm grip on Nico's neck. It was all too much and he began to tremble. 

Kimi's grin bordered on evil and he knelt up between Nico's legs and pulled the half-German-half-Finn's shirt over his head and chucked it aside. Nico was like jelly already, he was fairly sure if he palmed his cock through his jeans he could say that he'd achieved their aim already, but he was having way too much fun for that.

Leaning back over his, now, half naked pupil Kimi took a hold of Nico's wrists and pinned them either side of his head. He ducked his head back down to Nico's neck and his tongue began to seek out that sweet spot that made him squeak. This time when he hit it Kimi bit down, firmly enough to make Nico buck his hips wildly, but not enough to really mark him. Not giving Nico time to come down he started to bite a gentle trail down his neck and over his collar bone, loving the feeling of Nico wriggling and panting under him. As he nipped his way down Nico's chest he licked a wet stripe directly across his nipple then wickedly blew a cool breath onto the wet nipple.

"Kimi..." Nico's voice was panty and a laboured. "If you...if you do.....if you do that again I'm....."

With a short, dirty laugh Kimi pinned both of Nico's wrists above his head with one hand and whilst he attacked Nico's nipple again, alternating between gentle licks and sharp nips, he simply pressed his hand hard onto his pupil's crotch and made Nico do something he hadn't done since he was a young teenager....

"Lesson two......You don't have to fuck them to make them come."


	4. Chapter 4

"You're avoiding me."

Nico tried to think of excuses, but he knew it was true. He also knew that Kimi knew that he knew that it was true. He had thought that Kimi wouldn't approach him on the driver's parade, he was always with Seb or Heikki, but he should have realised that Kimi, being Kimi wouldn't give a shit that people would find him speaking to Nico unusual.

"I don't mind you avoiding me if you don't need my help anymore. I do mind if it is because there is a problem and you are running from it. So is there a problem?"

Nico waved to the fans and tried to stop the blush of embarrassment sweeping him as he thought about what had happened the previous weekend. 

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about Nico.......... Did it feel good?"

Nico nodded, still unable to find the power of speech.

"Then that is all that matters. People like different things Nico, as long as the people involved both enjoyed it then it doesn't matter what anyone else would think about it. It doesn't matter if it was too quick or too slow, it doesn't matter if other people would think it wrong or right. You enjoyed it, that matters, that is all that matters."

Nico looked at Kimi and wished the Finn didn't always wear dark sunglasses. Kimi's eyes told stories of their own, you could really get a good look at what he was thinking when you could see them. Then it suddenly dawned on Nico exactly why Kimi always wore the damn glasses. 

"So, you want another lesson then?"

"Lesson in what?"

Nico's eyes almost popped out of his head at the sound of Seb's voice behind them. If he hadn't lost the power of speech before then he certainly would have at that moment.

"What lessons are you having? Why do I not know anything about lessons? Is this why you had no time to play badminton last weekend?"

"Finnish lessons. They do not involve you. No."

Nico felt all his terror wash away as Kimi answered at Seb in a way that said 'shut up', 'fuck off' and 'I dare you to ask another and you'll see what happens' all without actually saying anything impolite at all. He couldn't help, but admire the way that Kimi simply turned to the fans and start to wave. Amazingly because he is Kimi Seb just accepted that the conversation was over and went back to discussing tyres with Timo. If he had given those answers then Seb, well anyone, would have asked endless questions about why, what exactly, since when, what did he wants to achieve......which actually brought him to the thought of what did he want to achieve?. Ideally he'd like to be more like Kimi, but he knew they didn't call Kimi unique for nothing. He just wanted to be happy with himself, nothing more and nothing less. Could Kimi really be the one to help him find that? He wasn't sure, but then again he wouldn't have thought Kimi could make him come in his underwear last week so he figured it was worth a try.

 

Kimi found it entirely logical for Nico to fly to Finland with him after the race to continue his Finnish lessons. Nico was rather more sideswiped by the whole thing, but when Kimi suggested it he lost the power of speech again and couldn't do anything except nod. On the flight he discovered that it was Seb's trainer Heikki's birthday so Seb, Heikki and various others were all on the flight to Helsinki. As they left the airport the group of F1 faces captured the interest of the ever-present photographers and it was only once he was safely ensconced in Kimi's guest room that he realised the genuis of Kimi's plan. Of course they were going to attract attention, but travelling in a whole group to Finland wouldn't raise the same questions as Nico going to Kimi's Swiss home or Kimi to his apartment. Not that any of the media would have any idea what they were questioning, but they'd still be asking questions about Nico's relationship or Kimi's marriage or even speculating that they were going to be team-mates next year or something.

Kimi couldn't help watching Nico as he lounged on the sofa watching the football. He knew he had to be careful with this. Nico might be physically very fit and pretty tough mentally when it came to racing, but personally he was delicate. He was taking advantage of him by even having him here really. He should really just show him some relevant pages online and be done with it. He should let him find someone he loved to introduce him to all the things Kimi knew he was going to love. If he ever realised that Kimi had known why his girlfriend was wrong for him since their second kiss he'd probably hate him, but for the opportunity of being the one to introduce Nico to him true self it was a risk worth taking.

'What are you thinking about?' Nico's almost accent-less English tore him from his thoughts.

'Your next lesson.' 

'I've been thinking about that too.' Nico paused for a moment assessing if it was the right moment or not. 'I want to be happy with myself. I want to learn how to know when the person I'm with is satisfied. I want you to teach me.'

'If someone can tell you what they like then it's easier to know because if you already know they like it you only have to find the pace.'

'How do you get them to tell you?'

'You ask them Nico.' 

Kimi shifted closer to Nico and motioned for him to rest his head on Kimi's leg. Using light fingers he began to draw small circles on his forehead, moving slightly and slowly until he reached his temples. Noticing Nico's eyes flutter slightly he smiled lightly.

'You see. I asked you a question and now I have my answer.'

Nico frowned, 'We didn't say anything.'

'You remember what I said about not having to fuck someone to make them come?'

Blushing slightly at the memory Nico nodded lightly, feeling slightly warm under the touch of Kimi's light fingers.

'The same is true here. You do not have to speak to ask or answer a question. If you watch someone's body, truly watch them then you can get the answers to your question.'

'I watched her body though Kimi. We were together and it seemed like she enjoyed it. Maybe I just can't read.'

'Did you ever sit like this and only watch her reaction? Did you ever ask her to touch herself and watch? Just watch - not do yourself at the same time, but watch her eyes flutter as she touched a certain spot? Did you ever not think about fucking her as you flicked her clit with your tongue, but just listen to her breathing and watch when she twitched?.........That is where people go wrong Nico. They are too quick to be together. If you take the time to know exactly where to lick and when to suck and how to touch then when you get together it's.......Well it's worth the time.'

Nico looked at Kimi with his big, curious eyes.

'How can you teach me what they'll like if you don't know them?'

'I can't.'

'So what is the point of the lessons then?'

'To help you with the most important thing of all.'

'What's that?'

'Learning what you like, and accepting that it's ok to like it.'


	5. Chapter 5

Kimi watched patiently whilst Nico tried to get himself into the right headspace for what they were about to do. He hadn't planned on openly suggesting they try out his theory that you should watch someone pleasure themselves before you attempted to do it for them, but Nico had assumed that is what he was suggesting and since he hadn't run out of the door kicking and screaming Kimi decided to let him go with it. 

Nico wasn't 100% sure he could watch Kimi touch himself, watch him do all the things he wanted someone else to do to him without letting his mind sidetrack, but he really wanted to be able to do it. He figured if he could do that with Kimi without losing focus then......well then he could do it with anyone. He wasn't entirely sure what that thought actually meant, but he snapped his mind back to the task in hand, so to speak, god sometimes his own mind had an unhelpful way with words!

Nico found Kimi's demeanour slightly unnerving. He didn't know if Kimi had stripped off his clothes and lounged back on the corner sofa without a thought because he didn't give a shit about being naked or because he was somehow still able to see this as a simple lesson. Either way he was naked and looking at Nico with a serious expression on his face.

"You have to concentrate Nico. It's not the obvious things that make being with someone spectacular, it's the small, sweet spots that make the difference. Ready?"

There was little point in Kimi asking because before Nico even thought about responding his hand was reaching between his legs to roll his balls between his fingers. Nico was in awe at the sight before him, Kimi's head lolled back onto the sofa as his fingers of one hand lightly wrapped around his hardening cock whilst the others continued their fondling action. Nico watched as a slight sheen of sweat began to appear over his milky white skin and he just caught the slight hitch in Kimi's breathing as he ran a single finger firmly down the underside of his cock. He was curious as Kimi hands both stopped in their task for a second, just resting where they were as if to tease himself. Gently one hand travelled up his body and began light caresses of his collar bone, making Nico, without realising it, mimic his action, trying to establish if doing it yourself had the same effect. 

By the time Kimi had wrapped his right hand tightly around his rock hard cock and used it to take himself crashing over the edge Nico's concentration was gone. He was rock hard, his bottom lip was almost bleeding from being bitten and he was sweating as much as, if not more than, Kimi. He had never seem Kimi look so beautiful as the moment when he bit his lip and gave out a guttural moan as he climaxed. His eyes changed from being icy and mysterious to big and expressive - just for a few seconds, but long enough for Nico to glimpse that moment of sheer pleasure. 

"So, did you spot anything specific?"

Nico was left amazing by the Finn again. How anyone could come that hard and then ask a question in a normal tone so quickly was beyond him, but he had a desire not to disappoint so he tried to formulate his answer quickly.

"Well......you don't like such a gentle touch. You are quite firm when you play with....you know....and your collar bone is definitely very sensitive. Especially when you use your nails."

Kimi nodded, his face betraying no emotion whatsoever. He was more interested in discovering where the point was that Nico lost himself than knowing what Nico actually noticed, but he was quite impressed that Nico got as far as the collarbone. Others have lost themselves before that point despite being desperate to please, but Nico seems to have a pretty decent level of concentration, perhaps that is the driver in him.

"Your breathing did a funny thing when you touched the vein. Like a gaspy noise and then you stopped for a bit. Why did you stop for a bit? It was like you were teasing yourself?"

"You just answered your own question. Anticipation."

"Ah right. I wouldn't of thought of teasing myself when I was...you know. Erm, that's the things I can think of. Did I do ok?"

"You did well.... I wasn't sure if you'd be able to concentrate until the end and you did."

"If I tell you something do you promise you won't laugh?"  
"You can tell me anything Nico."

"I had to sit on my hands."

Kimi smirked, "What stopped you joining in? If that is what you wanted to do then why didn't you?"

Nico was shattered. He thought he'd done the right thing ignoring all the urges to join in, but Kimi hadn't thought he'd stay concentrated. He was pulled from his thoughts by Kimi, still naked, sitting next to him and tilting his chin up to allow their eyes to lock.

"That was a question Nico. It was not a criticism."

"You thought I would join in?"

"I didn't know what you would do."

"I don't understand." Nico rested his head down onto Kimi's shoulder, desperately trying not to look into the Finn's lap. "You said that people don't take the time to sit and watch. I watched. Right to the end. Even though I was so fucking hard it was sore. I watched, but now you are saying I should have joined in."

"I didn't say that," Kimi shushed Nico with a squeeze of his shoulder, "I asked why you didn't. That is a very different thing. Nico, you have to stop assuming you've done something wrong all of the time. When I said that you should have just said 'because I wanted to watch' or 'because you told me to watch', but you didn't. You immediately went into a tailspin about doing the wrong thing. There are no rights and wrongs here Nico. There's things that are slightly better and things that are not. No-one is ever going to object to the sentence 'I just wanted to watch you touch yourself' and no-one is ever going to object to 'I wanted to watch you so that I know where to touch you better'. Nico......the only person holding you back is you. You need to believe. Either that...."

"Either that or what?"

"Nothing. You just need to believe in yourself. Trust me, you have nothing to fear and nothing to hide."

Nico looked up at him with his big, bright eyes with a pleading look on his face.

"Either that or what? Please tell me what you were going to say?"

Kimi thought very seriously about his next phrase. Taken the right way Nico could open up a whole new world to himself. A world where he could find himself completely satisfied and happy. However taken the wrong way he could hate Kimi forever and hate himself. Even taken the right way he could go off into a whole new world and end up with someone who could hurt him, badly.

"Either that.....or you should do some reading."

"Reading?"

"I want you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"I'm going to give you the name of a website. I want you to go home and read it. Read it a few times and think about it. Don't over-analyse it, just read it and see if anything clicks. I want you to promise me though that you won't speak to anyone else about it until we've spoken. I'm serious Nico, you don't speak to anyone else about it."

Nico was sat at home a few days later. He had read Kimi's website a few times. His head was spinning. He had never really read much before about this kind of stuff, but he was determined to keep his promise to Kimi. 

He laughed lightly and wondered if the fact that he was so determined to follow Kimi's orders answered the questions his website had made him ask himself.


	6. Someone else gets involved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains hints of dub-con. Someone has discovered Nico & Kimi's secret.... How have the taken advantage?

Kimi's stomach burned with anger as he sat on the chair next to the bed and watched Nico's body twitch in his fitful sleep. Even asleep the red rings around the half-Finn-half-German's eyes were visible and now that his t-shirt had ridden up a little with his movements the red marks, that were starting to take on a blue-tinge, on his body stared at Kimi. They were a stark reminder of his mistakes, and boy he had made some mistakes. He should never have told Nico to look at that website. Everything that could have gone wrong in the last week had done. He'd been hauled off to France for a last minute sponsor event with Renault that he just could not get out of and then the fucking air traffic controllers had gone on strike which meant that instead of being with Nico to talk about what he'd read Nico was in the hotel on his own. Except he'd not been on his own for long and Kimi hadn't warned Nico about him. Poor sweet Nico had no idea that the friendly, chatty guy who he'd let his secret slip too after a beer was a nasty piece of work. 

There couldn't have been anything left in Kimi's stomach. He'd been kneeling on the cold, hard bathroom floor for the past twenty minutes heaving his guts up so hard that it hurt. He just knew that he'd have used Kimi's phrases, used his knowledge of Kimi's thoughts and ways to gain Nico's trust. To make Nico tell him all his secrets and desires. To make Nico trust him enough that when he suggested a lesson from him Nico allowed it. Not knowing until long after he'd agreed to the suggestion of tying his hands to the bedpost, Kimi knew that had happened because he could see the angry red marks on his wrists that showed how much he'd struggled, a suggestion that was no doubt made so casually that Nico would end up thinking it was his own suggestion, that safewords and pleas would mean nothing. Nico came to Kimi broken. He'd hurt Nico, he'd broken Nico and it was all Kimi's fault because he said too much before Nico was ready for it. It was Kimi's fault and he didn't know how he was going to fix it, but he knew that he just had to fix it. Somehow. 

It was 2 full days before Nico and Kimi were both ready to talk about it all. They'd hardly said a word to each other, or to anyone else, just gone about their days in silence. Nico slept lots, and showered more, Kimi had pretended to read or watch tv, but mainly he'd watched Nico. Nico hadn't gone back to his own room, instead he returned to the safety of Kimi's after each work session. At night they started off on separate sides of the bed, but by morning Nico woke up cocooned in the safety of Kimi's arms. Now sat on opposite ends of the sofa Kimi was terrified of the conversation they were about to have. He knew of the all of ways it was could go, it was just a case of which of them. Nico completely blame himself, he could be broken forever, beyond repair and that would be awful. He could reject it all, ignore his true self and go back to being a boring bloke with a boring girlfriend and have a boring life. That idea horrified Kimi, Nico wouldn't be happy and that was a horrid thought. Worse still Nico could fall under his spell, like many had, and believe that this was what having a submissive streak meant. That this was how someone showed you how much they loved you. That was the worst thought. Kimi had enough glimpses to know that this was Nico's thing - the slight pain, the element of control, the not knowing what was coming next....dealt with properly Nico could be happy, truly happy and satisfied and he would lose all that doubt and fear. Kimi just hoped that it wasn't too late.

"I'm sorry...."

Kimi's head shot up so quickly he nearly gave himself whiplash, "Nico, you have nothing to be sorry for. It's me who should be sorry. And I am sorry. So, so sorry."

"I was the one who broke a promise. I'm sorry I let you down."

Nico could barely see Kimi's face through his tears. He'd jumped up from his own seat and he'd taken Nico's face in his hands, "You did not let me down. You did not Nico. I let you down..."

"I broke my promise. I let someone else give me a lesson even though you warned me not to even talk to anyone about it."

"No. He took advantage of you. You are not to blame..............Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Nico nodded as he shifted round until he was resting his head on Kimi's shoulder. Kimi wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tight, trying to make him feel secure.

"We were chatting in the bar. I...well...I asked a couple of times about your flight. He picked up on it.......we had a few drinks." 

Suddenly Nico's voice panicked, 'I mean it was not just us - everyone was."

"Hey, hey...Nico. I'm not going to be annoyed by anything you say here. You've done nothing wrong, nothing."

Snuggling closer into his chest Nico's voice went quiet, "He knew...he knew the things you like...the things you thought about taking time to watch. I thought.....I thought he'd had the same, or you'd had the same. At first I wasn't sure about a lesson, but he said it would be a shame if some air traffic controllers meant I missed out. It was just a lesson....but....but, it wasn't like with you. It was nothing like with you."

Kimi's hands shook with fury as Nico dissolved into tears in his arms. With every heaving sob he felt his stomach twist some more. He had to try and calm his rage though, he had to concentrate all of his energy on fixing Nico. Revenge could wait. 

"It wasn't like I thought.....I thought it'd be like it was when..." Nico's quiet voice faltered to a stop.

"When what Nico?'

'When...well when we....when you...when I came...because of you...you know when...'

'It should have been. It should have been like that or better.'

Nico looked at him, his beautiful big eyes rimmed thick with redness. 'Then why didn't it?'

'Because it wasn't about you,' Kimi stroked his fingers through Nico's soft hair as he tried to explain. 'It can't be about one person, and that was about one person. You see Nico even when one person is in control, even when it seems like everything is about that person it's really as much about the other person. It's about getting into their head and painting the picture and building the anticipation of what is to come, of what it's going to be like.'

'I don't understand.'

'You remember when I told you to watch me? How you were watching, and you wanted to join in, but you didn't because I told you to watch....think about the effect that had on you, how much you tingled, how hard you were, how much you liked it even though it seemed to be all about me....'

'It was so intense....'

'Then imagine if after all that I'd dropped to my knees and sucked you....or wrapped a hand around you, can you imagine how good that would have been? How much more your sensations would have been heightened?'

Nico's small shudder said that he could indeed imagine.

'That is what it is about. That is what any pain should be about. That is what any binds should be about. That is what any delay or order to wait should be about. It shouldn't be about hurting you or denying you, it should be about making it stronger and fiercer when your turn comes. And your turn should always eventually come otherwise there's no point, it's just pain for nothing. It should never leave you feeling like this. Never Nico, you hear me? You never, ever let anyone use you just for them, you are worth far, far more than that.'

'Why did he then?'

'Because he likes to be in total control and he doesn't care if the other person doesn't get anything from it. Partly as well, and I'm so sorry about this, it will have been about getting at me. He used you, in more ways than one and I'm sorry that I didn't warn you. I just didn't realise I was going to be held up. I should have waited until we were together before giving you that website and I'll always regret that.'

'I want to know what it is like. Properly.'

'You will Nico, one day you'll meet someone who can take you there.'

'I want you to take me there...'

Kimi froze at the words. His hand stilled on Nico's leg and he stopped playing with his hair. He gulped hard. He wanted to take Nico there, more than anything, but he couldn't. He shouldn't. And he wouldn't.

'I can't Nico. I made you vulnerable and I can't do that to you again. Don't rush it, when the time is right you'll know. You need to give yourself time to heal, in your head as well as your body. When you are ready you need to go there with someone that you love.'

Nico kissed his lips gently up Kimi's neck, holding him tight to stop him wriggling away, until he reached his ear. 

'I want you to take me there....'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really hope you are enjoying this!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This touches on the dub-con issues from the previous chapter & how Nico and Kimi will cope with it.

It had been three weeks since Nico had been hurt, it had been three weeks since he had told Kimi he loved him and it had been three long weeks since Kimi had said he wouldn't even consider discussing anything like that with Nico until he was physically healed. That's not to say they'd had any kind of falling out over it. They'd remained in their curled up position on the sofa for hours after Nico's declaration. Kimi had explained to Nico that sometimes love got confused with need and want and after Nico protested he explained that sometimes it got confused with safety. Nico was sure that he had actually fallen in love with Kimi, but he understood, thanks to the online links he'd been given, why Kimi was concerned about the possibility of confusion. 

In that three weeks they'd had the summer break and they'd kept to their now familiar pattern. When they weren't working they were together. Sometimes in Switzerland, once in Monte Carlo and mostly in Kimi's new flat near the Enstone factory. It was a handy place, the airport was close by and London wasn't too far when private planes weren't an option. Their routine was relaxed and they'd both adopted it without much thought. Kimi cooked whilst Nico tidied. Kimi watched tv while Nico pottered online or read. They seemed to fit together like a jigsaw in many ways. Especially at night - their routine never changed, they went to bed on their own sides and woke up a mess of entangled limbs.

They talked lots, often about nothing, but Nico's curiosity about his own sexuality and desires was high on the list of discussed subjects. Sometimes the conversations were calm and perfunctory, but other times they were full of emotion and they found themselves tingling as they talked about intimate acts in minute detail. Often Nico would have to excuse himself to the bathroom after a conversation had left him painfully aroused. He'd run the tap in the vain hope that Kimi wouldn't hear the moans that accompanied his frantic hands working his body to the mental image they had created together. 

Kimi found it easy having Nico around, and bizarrely that is what troubled him the most. He knew that Nico was not truly in love with him. He was in love with the ideas and possibilities that Kimi had opened up to him. The brutality shown to him elsewhere had cemented Kimi's place in his life as a safe and secure place where he could be himself. As much as Kimi wanted to keep Nico around, wanted to explore more with him, he knew he could not. It would only confuse Nico more when the time came for their arrangement to end as it inevitably would when Nico met someone he loved. He wanted to shield him from anymore pain because he could remember clearly what that was like. The brutality at his hands was only ever surpassed by the realisation that he had not loved him at all. He had used him and used his love and there were days where Kimi had believed he'd never recover. 

For that reason he bit his lip as his thumb brushed over the sensitive tip of his achingly hard cock. He did not want Nico to hear him, stood just on the other side of the wall, using Nico's moans and the mental image of his actions to spur him on as he stroked himself over the edge. By the time Nico returned Kimi would be sat on the sofa pretending to be engrossed in whichever mundane sport was on tv. It would be less painful for Nico this way.

During dinner Kimi could tell that Nico had something on his mind. When he was trying to think of the right way to phrase something he had a habit of tapping his right index finger. Kimi looked at him with questioning eyes.

'You know if you have a question you can always ask me, don't you?'

Nico sighed, 'I don't know if I want to ask it.'

'Why not?'

'Well....I'm not sure it's any of my business. And I'm a little bit scared of the possible answer,' Was his honest reply.

'Okay. Well you know you can ask me anything.'

They ate the rest of their meal in relative silence, discussing their plans for the upcoming race weekend. Nico was nervous about bumping into him at the track, but Kimi reassured him by pointing out how little time they spent alone. 

'How did he know so much about you?'

With one simple question, one that he should have expected, Kimi felt all of the air squashed out of his lungs. He tried to quickly paint his usual, calm face on, but Nico had seen the reaction. He'd seen the miss-mash of fear, hurt and regret on his face. It was just a flicker, but it was enough to show that Kimi had once been in Nico's shoes. For some reason that frightened Nico. He didn't want Kimi to be vulnerable, he liked him strong and tough - he needed him strong and tough.

'We had a relationship. A long time ago now.'

'Did he hurt you?' 

'Yes. Yes he did. I loved him, but he didn't love me. He used me and used the fact that I loved him.'

'Is that why you won't believe that I love you? Because you don't want to hurt me like he hurt you?'

Kimi's eyes flashed with anger, 'I would never hurt you like he hurt me. Never.'

With that Kimi stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door so hard several books fell off the shelf unit. Nico didn't move until the burning in his lungs made him realise that he'd been holding his breath. He didn't know what to do. When he'd broken down in tears and fled off to bed Kimi gave him a few moments and then climbed in next to him. He waited until Nico shuffled backwards into his arms before holding him tight. Was that what he should do? Should he go in and hold Kimi? The potential switch in roles confused him. He had to get this right, he had to show Kimi that he'd been watching, that he'd been picking up the small signs, that he cared enough to notice....

Kimi tensed as he felt Nico slip into bed next to him. He didn't want this, he didn't want to switch places as that would confuse everything all over again. He didn't mean to react so badly, but the suggestion, the mere thought, that he could ever harm Nico like him just made him feel like he'd been punched hard in the stomach. He was brought back to his surroundings by Nico's foot gently brushing against his. 

Suddenly a warmth spread over him. He knew. Nico knew. Silently Nico shuffled back towards him slightly, the way he always did, the way they did things... He knew that Kimi didn't want a change. Silently he turned onto his side and let his chest come into contact with Nico's bare back. After a moment Nico lifted his head slightly and allowed Kimi to slide his arm under him. Soon they were how they always ended up; Nico wrapped in Kimi's arms with his fingers gently stroking his stomach while one of Nico's hands rested on Kimi's leg and the other supporting his own head. 

'I'm sorry.' 

Kimi kissed his shoulder lightly, 'No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted like that....I'd never hurt you like he did.'

Nico turned until he was on his back, 'I know you wouldn't. I trust you.'

Eyes locked together Kimi knew he should break the moment, but he couldn't. Not even when Nico leaned up and gave him the gentlest of kisses. 

'I want you..'

'Nico..we..'

'Sssh.... Not like that. You said people had to say what they wanted. I don't want you to take me there. You said it wasn't all about that and you were right, this isn't about that. It isn't about that at all......It's just about us......it's just about now......I just want you.'

With all the bravery he could muster Nico pressed his soft lips onto Kimi's again, drawing him into a slow and gentle kiss. By the time Nico's tongue tentatively nudged at Kimi's bottom lip all of Kimi's resolve was gone. Hands cupped faces while tongues danced. Nico squeaked as Kimi nibbled on his neck and Kimi gasped as Nico nipped his collar bone. Kimi tortured Nico's nipples whilst Nico ignored his and trailed his tongue on an agonisingly slow path around his belly button. In the end they were a writhing, wriggling mess with their cocks wrapped, together, in Nico's hand as they rutted against each other. There was nothing either romantic or kinky about their climax, Nico could take no more and the sight of his younger lover losing control tipped Kimi over the edge. It wasn't about anything other than them.

Wrapped together in a sticky sweaty mess they were both happy and satisfied and Nico finally got it.

'You really don't have to fuck them for it to be good.'

'You don't....... It will be though, when we do it will be.'

Kimi's dirty smile as he pulled him closer for a lazy kiss made Nico tremble. 

And squeak, of course.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just who was the man who took advantage of Nico? And what happens when Kimi faces him for the first time.  
> Elements of dub-con again in this one.

Kimi loved it when it was time for Spa. 

It was, by far, his favourite track. He had a routine - same hotel, same restaurant for dinner, same walk after the meal - and it was the one race weekend that he really looked forward too. He wasn't too disappointed when Nico text him to say that his father was joining him for the weekend so they'd have to limit their time together. Nico was ready for a lot of things, but explaining his relationship with Kimi to his family wasn't one of them. 

Of course being a creature of habit meant that it was easy for someone who knew him and his habits well to track him down when he was at his most vulnerable. Standing at the top of the hill at his favourite spot in Francorchamps village he was enjoying the view until that voice shattered his peace.

'Some things never change. Some habits can never be broken.'

Kimi couldn't speak as he felt the voice come and stand behind him. So close to him that he could feel his warm breath on his ear. In times gone by that breath made him tingle and full of lust, but now it made his stomach fall and his heart race for all the wrong reasons.

'I was disappointed in you little one. All those long lessons with little Nico and you hadn't given him what he really needed.... Then I realised what your plan was and I was so proud. So, so proud.'

Kimi's mind was spinning. What was he talking about? He had no plans with Nico. He just wanted him to be true to himself and not get hurt. That wasn't a plan, that was just...... He clenched his fists in anger, his pale eyes flashing dark.

'No.'

'No?' The antipodean twang was almost mocking in its tone.

'I didn't plan for you to get your bastard hands on Nico.'

'I think you did..... Why else would you leave him so open, so ready and willing when you could not be there?'

Kimi's voice was panicky and desperate, 'I didn't mean for that to happen. I was going to be there, but the sponsors and the strike...'

'Are you sure? Are you sure you didn't just let it happen because you knew that you couldn't give him what he wanted, what he needed?'

'He didn't need that.'

'You did though.... I've seen you together, I know he's been with you in your new flat.' The voice took on a softer, huskier tone, 'Have you been helping him get better? Have you? Have you been holding him in your arms while he cried? Hmmm? Have you been telling him that it'll be all nice when you fuck him? Eh? Have you been consoling him while your dirty mind is thinking about fucking him? Have you Kimi, have you been looking after him?'

'Yes...No....Yes, but...'

'But what?' His hand snaked around Kimi's waist and brought a hiss as his cold fingers splayed out on his stomach under his shirt. 'But what Kimi?'

'But not like that....not like that.' Kimi's mind was in complete turmoil. 

'So you haven't thought about fucking him?' The cold hand thrust down under his jeans and into his boxers and grabbed his cock. He tried to pull away, but a sharp, hard bite to his neck soon stilled him. 

'Have you little one? Have you been consoling poor little Nico while you've been thinking about fucking him?'

'Noooo.' The first tear fell and he had to fight hard to stop there being any more. The thumb toying at his sensitive end was repulsing him, but his body was reacting to it despite his desperation.

'Don't lie. You have been thinking about it. You have been thinking about fucking Nico. Have you fucked him yet?'  
Cruel laughter followed Kimi's frantic shake of the head.

'Why not? Is it because you have not asked my permission?'

'I ddddon't need your permission.'

'Really?' That mocking tone was back again.

'I don't need you for anything.'

'Oh little one.... If you didn't need me then why did you send me Nico? If you didn't need me anymore then why have you not come to me and taken me to task for breaking your toy?'

'He's not my toy.' 

'Do you hate me Kimi?'

'Yes.' 

'Do you though? Do you really?'

He let the question hang in the air as his hand gripped Kimi's now rock hard cock harder. He stroked him painfully slowly as he continued to torment his ear with his hot breath and occasionally with the flick of his tongue.

'If you hate me so much then why are you stood here with your cock in my hand?'

'If you hate me so much then why are you stood in exactly the position that I taught you?'

'If you hate me so much then why did you send me Nico? And you did send him.... if you didn't want me to have him you'd have warned him about me and you didn't. You made him all curious and ready, but you didn't protect him.'

'Come for me little one.'

With 5 whispered words Kimi crashed over the edge. Sinking to his knees he felt like his world was crashing down around his shoulders. He felt sick as he felt the hard cock nudge his cheek.

'You know what you have to do...'

Stumbling back into his hotel room Kimi couldn't get into the shower fast enough. Passing the mirror he could see the remnants of his branding on his cheek. His skin was raw by the time he finished scrubbing, but his desperation was due to the fact that he knew he couldn't scrub deep enough. He could wash the come from his face, brush the taste from his mouth, but he couldn't take the questions out of his mind. The same two questions swirling round and round driving him crazy.

'If you hate me then why did you need my permission to come?'

'If you hate me then why did you give me Nico?'

Kimi crawled into bed with the bottle of ice-cold vodka in his hand. 

He hated Spa.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another encounter with the nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - more dub-con in this one.

Kimi was hungover, that was the rumour. Nico wasn't bothered by that because on race weekend there was always rumours that Kimi was drunk or hungover. Kimi had been with a mystery woman last night. That one didn't bother him either, again there was always rumours about Kimi's supposed playboy lifestyle. Kimi was sporting a massive hickey courtesy of last night's conquest - that one bothered Nico. He tried to listen to his engineers, but in reality he was simply concentrating on counting down the minutes until the Driver's Parade where he'd see Kimi again. He'd see for himself if it was true.

It was. Not only was that true, but Kimi was completely avoiding him. It's funny how someone that you very rarely spoke to in public and very rarely stood with in public could avoid you, but they could. Obviously he'd tried to keep the mark on his neck covered, but Jenson had flicked his collar to give them all confirmation of the rumour. Being Kimi he just told them to fuck off and went back to hiding behind his dark sunglasses. Nico could feel eyes watching his every move. Him. Could he be? No, Kimi hated him. Just once Nico mistakenly caught his eyes and there was a gleeful smile on his face. Nico's stomach lurched. He was smiling because he knew Nico's secrets, not because of Kimi. Kimi wouldn't go there. 

Would he?

'Looks like you caught a live one mate!'

His jovial banter had most of the lads on the parade snickering, trying to hide it as most wouldn't dare openly laugh at Kimi. Nico watched open mouthed as he stood close to Kimi, and Kimi didn't move. He thought he saw a flicker of something pass between their hands. Everything he thought he knew, everything he thought he'd learned crashed down around him. The noise of the crowd and the others was all just a blur. Had he just been a pawn in their sick little games?

Kimi felt the keycard being pressed into his hands and tried to resist.

'No need to create a scene little one. If you don't want it I'm sure I can get little Nico drunk enough....'

Kimi snatched the card from his hand and growled, 'Leave him alone.' 

'Be there at 10pm. I've got rather friendly with the receptionist so if you are late I'll come and find you.....and the first place I'll look is Britney's room.'

It's amazing that in a sport as technical as F1 that you could end up on the podium despite the fact you had no memory of the race. Obviously the carnage at the beginning helped, but when your mind was elsewhere it was a miracle that not only had he not caused the carnage, but he'd managed to avoid it. Kimi was sat in his room wrapped in just a towel turning the keycard between his fingers. His stomach ached from heaving so much. He didn't want to do this. He really didn't want to do this, but he had no choice. He didn't particularly care what happened to him, he had been damaged beyond repair many years ago and he no longer loved him so he couldn't hurt him as bad as before. He had to do it though. Nico wasn't damaged beyond repair and Nico was too important to risk. Again. If he'd just taken his time and not put Nico in danger then he'd be looking forward to feeling him slip into bed with him tonight. Instead...

Kimi was so focussed on steadying his breathing it took him 3 attempts to get the keycard in the door. Finally the green light flashed and the lock clicked. The room was just like any other. Hotel rooms were always much of a muchness and nothing stood out. They never showed any trace of the debauchery that took place in them. He could hear the shower running and glanced up at the bathroom door and seen the smirking face leaning on the door frame. 

'You know what to do. You've got 5 minutes.'

With that he disappeared into the shower leaving Kimi stood in the centre of the room. He took a few seconds to steady his breathing, trying to get the urge to vomit under control. He'd done this before. Many times. He could do it again. He could do it to protect Nico. He could do it to protect him from every feeling like this.

Silently Kimi set about his task. He chained the door to ensure no interruption from housekeeping. He closed the blinds and checked there was no cracks. He fought back the tears as he folded back the duvet. He could do this, he could. He took the condoms and lube from the drawer and put them next to the pillow. He turned the air conditioning down so that the room stayed warm. He moved the kettle and other paraphernalia away from the desk top and he placed the chair against the wall. One tear escaped as he kicked off his shoes and pulled off his socks. Neatly he placed them under the chair. Then he took off his clothes, always in the same order. His t-shirt and then shorts and he folded them neatly and placed them on the chair. He re-folded them trying to pretend that there was a need for it, but in reality he was stalling. Taking a deep breath he removed his boxers and they joined his clothing pile.

The only noise he could hear as he walked to the middle of the room was his own rapid breathing. His body fell into position naturally. Hands, palms out, by his sides, chin down, eyes to the floor and legs slightly apart. Then he waited. He had to fight against his instinct to run when he eventually heard the snicker. He could hear him padding across from the bathroom and he circled around Kimi twice. Kimi felt himself cringe at the scrutiny he was under and the urge to vomit was back again. He stood in front of him and the hot breath was at his ear again.

'I knew you'd come.... Do you know how I knew that?.........I knew that because you are weak.......You've always been weak...... They call you the tough Iceman, but if only they knew....... Oh if only they knew Kimi.'

Kimi could feel his chest getting tighter.

'Please Ma.....'

The slap stung his cheek. 'Don't you fucking dare.' He growled in his ear. 'You don't ever use my name without my permission.'

Kimi could have kicked himself for his mistake. Whatever plans he had for him had just increased he was sure of that. If there was an award for making a situation worse Kimi certainly knew how to win it this year. It started so well. His return to F1, he was in love with the sport again. Lotus was a team he really felt at home in. They let him do his own thing, only forcing him into stuff when it was really necessary. Romain was a bit of a loose cannon, but he and Jerome were pretty decent company as far as teammates go. The car was good, it had got him on the podium and he'd had a few chances to win. Then Nico had come along and it had just got better and better. Now he'd come along and ruined it all.

'Anytime you feel like coming back feel free.'

The sarcastic tone brought him back to his shitty reality. He'd moved and was sat on the end of the bed watching him with his creepy smile. As Kimi caught his eye he raised his eyebrow and Kimi's eye flew to the floor.

'Better. I'll be a bit easier on you since you are a bit out of practise. Plus I still have to thank you for my gift.'

The cruel laughter taunted Kimi. He hadn't given him Nico. He hadn't. He hadn't meant to give him Nico. He hadn't wanted to give him Nico. He had meant to protect Nico. He had....he had given him Nico.

'We're going to play a little game. You are going to use your hand and get yourself nice and hard and then you are going to tell me when you are done. Go.'

He tried to keep his head on anything else as his hand moved robotically. He hated his body sometimes. He didn't want this, but his body was reacting like he did. He tried to think of nice things, but all he could think of was Nico. He couldn't think of Nico here. Fighting back more tears the thought of Nico, his soft lips and his beautiful eyes brought him close.

'I'm done.'

'Keep going, but do not come little one......................keep going.................a little more.........you must be so close now...........STOP'

His hands flew back to his side. The pain was unbearable. His toes were curling into the carpet and it hurt to breath. The edge was so close, but so far away.

'Put your clothes back on.'

Kimi's head shot up, his eyes full of questions, but he just followed his orders.

'Get out.'

His voice was weak and he knew it showed, but he had to ask. 'Why?'

'Because I can little one. Something that you needed reminded of. Now get out.'

Kimi flew into his room and headed straight for the bathroom. He was retching so hard that he feared he'd do himself serious damage. He thought about getting into the shower, but he knew there was no point. He couldn't scrub away the pain he felt so he stumbled through to the bedroom. He had thought he couldn't hurt anymore, but then he seen the sleeping bundle in his bed. Nico. He was even more beautiful when he was sleeping, but he had red rings around his eyes. Kimi's heart ached, why was he crying? He knelt down next to the bed and ran his fingers through Nico's soft hair.

Nico woke from his horrible dream. Someone was crying, but he didn't know why. It was a horrible sound, they sounded like an injured animal. He sat bolt upright in bed when he realised where the noise was coming from. Nico flew down onto the floor next to him.

'Hey, Kimi, what's going on?'

'You have to go.....Nico go....get away from me. You need to stay away from me. I'm bad.' Nico had never heard Kimi sound so heartbroken.

Nico was terrified. Kimi, his strong and tough Kimi, was curled up in a ball on the floor crying his eyes out. He wasn't even drunk which made it all the more frightening. He needed to be the strong one, he needed to be there the way Kimi was for him, but he couldn't. He just couldn't.

Kimi heard the door close as Nico fled. His sobbing intensified. He'd lost him. He'd lost Nico, but at least he was safe. He pulled himself up onto the bed and cried himself to sleep with only that tiny crumb to comfort him.


	10. Chapter 10

Kimi felt the pain in his head before he even opened his eyes. He'd never felt this bad without a hangover before. His eyes felt like they were going to burst out of his head. He jumped in fright when he felt a cold cloth being placed over his sore eyes.

'Ssshh. Don't try to move. Rest there and I'll get you some painkillers.'

Nico had found himself racing down the corridor. He had to get away, he couldn't be the strong one. In the bar he ordered a vodka and he spotted some of the others laughing and joking together. He was in the middle of them. Holding court with everyone with his jokes and banter. He caught Nico's eye and his sinister grin said it all. He was responsible for Kimi's state. It only took Nico seconds to down his drink and head back to the room.

Kimi looked so small curled up on the bed. The toughness was all gone and instead there was just a pale, blond, vulnerable boy. Nico stripped down to his t-shirt and boxers and slipped into bed behind him, pulling the duvet over them both. He could do it, he could be the strong one and with that he pulled Kimi closer into his chest and held his whole Finn tight.

Kimi took the glass of water and swallowed the pills that Nico was holding out to him. He was confused, 'You left. I told you to leave and you left.'

Nico smiled softly, 'I came back.'

'You should go. You should stay away from me Nico. I'm bad. I'm weak.'

Nico wiped the escaping tear gently from Kimi's reddened face. 'If you want me to leave, truly want me to leave then I will. I'm not leaving because someone else says so though.'

Locked together their red-rimmed blue eyes looked deep into each other's minds.

'I have to ask you one question Kimi? I'm sure I already know the answer, but I have to ask. Did you plan it, what happened with him, did you mean for him to do what he did?'

'No.' Kimi began to weep softly so Nico climbed back into bed and took him into his arms, this time entirely comfortable with the switch of roles.

'That's what he said Nico, but it's not true. I didn't mean. I should have warned you about him, and I was going too after we'd spoken, I just didn't think I'd get held up. I never wanted that. Not for you. It should never have happened to you like that.'

'It shouldn't have happened to you like that either.'

Later in the day they packed up and headed for the airport having fallen into an easy silence. Nico wasn't sure if Kimi wasn't ready to talk or if he just wasn't going to talk, but he didn't mind. He'd been reassured from the moment that Kimi had asked him what time their flight was. Kimi had no idea what was going to happen next. He wouldn't stop, Kimi knew that, but maybe together he and Nico could face him off. He really didn't want to involve Nico, but he couldn't imagine getting through it without him. He also thought that perhaps if he kept Nico close he'd have a better chance of keeping him safe.

Throughout the Monza weekend Nico and Kimi kept themselves to themselves mostly. They both successfully avoided him all weekend by keeping busy. Kimi could sense on the driver's parade that he was attempting to get close to him, but he managed to avoid him by getting Sebastian hyper about something. After the race Kimi was less concerned about his slightly disappointing fifth place than he was getting Nico on the plane and out of there. A double retirement for the his team would not make him happy at all. He wanted to try and get away before they had to face him, he really wasn't ready for that yet.

Neither of them could really settle until they were home. Kimi thought about that word as he took two glasses from the cupboard. He'd only had the flat a short time and it was nothing like his house in Switzerland as it was only supposed to be a crash pad. It felt like home though, but he wasn't sure if that was because it was new or if it was because Nico seemed to belong here too. Back at the table Kimi hid his cringing at the idea of Nico using his vodka to make cocktails. He didn't know what was in the lurid green concoction and he had absolutely no intention of finding out. Sat on the sofa they fell back into their usual pattern of starting at opposite ends of the corner sofa, but gradually throughout the night each time they got up to get a new drink or whatever they moved slightly closer together.

Eventually Nico flopped down on the sofa and rested his head on Kimi's lap. He looked up at him and Kimi knew he had a question.

'What?'

'Are we okay?'

'I hope so Nico.'

'Will.... will you go back there? Back to him?' Nico asked quietly with his big eyes wide and worried.

'I didn't want to go back. He just, he knew how to get to me. He knew what my weakness was.'

Nico closed his eyes as Kimi started to stroke his hair.

'How can we stop it happening again?' Nico's voice dropped to an almost whisper, 'I don't want to share you.'

Kimi dropped a light kiss onto his forehead, 'No matter what happens you'll not be sharing me Nico. Even when he was there he didn't have me, you did. I'm just going to have to be strong. I've dodged him for a long time now. As long as I know you'll be careful, be clever and safe then I'll be okay.'

'I will be. I promise. This time I'll keep my promise.'

'Not your fault Nico.'

'Not either of our faults........ Kimi....We didn't....I mean he didn't...... He did stuff, but not....'

'Ssshh you don't have to talk about this.'

'I know. I just wanted you to know.'

The lapsed back into silence again for a while. Neither paying attention to the hockey on the tv, instead just enjoying the togetherness of the situation. Nico was completely relaxed, in fact so relaxed that he was a little surprised when Kimi nudged him awake having turned the tv off.

'Come on sleepyhead, time for bed.'

Lying in bed both had stripped down to their boxers and took up their usual position, but didn't bother with the subtleties of starting with a gap between them. Sinking into the feeling of Kimi's fingers stroking his stomach Nico felt the need to share a secret. He just hoped it wasn't a secret too far.

'If I tell you something do you promise you won't laugh at me?'

Kimi leaned up on his elbow and nuzzled his chin into Nico's shoulder leaving a light kiss on his neck.

'I'd never laugh you Nico... Well not unless you put both feet in the same trouser leg again.'

They both shared a smile about last week's mishap, Kimi adoring the little blush that flashed across Nico's cheeks.

'I.... Well I've been with other guys..... Not many, but I've.... I've never actually.... You know.... All the way.... I've never really been comfortable enough with anyone.... Don't laugh.'

Kimi laid a gentle line of kisses along his neck until he reached his ear, 'That's not something I'd ever laugh at.'

Nico shifted around onto his back until he looked at Kimi with his big, uncertain eyes. 'You're not disappointed?'

'Why on earth would I be disappointed?'

'Well I just thought that maybe you'd be disappointed that I am so inexperienced. I don't really know what I'm doing. I want it to be good for you.'

'Oh Nico. Do you have any idea how good it feels to be the one person that you feel able to trust? To be the person that is going to share that experience with you? That's not something to laugh at, that's something to feel fucking lucky about.'

Kimi bent his head down and drew Nico into a gentle kiss. It wasn't a rushed, passionate kiss, but a soft and gentle kiss, the kind that feel so intimate you can only share it with someone special. His hand traced up from Nico's stomach to lightly tease his nipple, drawing a gasp from Nico. Nico brought his hand up to stroke Kimi, but found it placed back down on the bed. Confused he looked up at his lover.

'Lay back and enjoy it Nico, this one is just for you...' Kimi's salacious smile gave Nico the confidence to do just that.

Kimi waited until Nico's eyes fluttered shut before he straddled over him and launched his assualt on his neck, nipping sharply at the pulse point which had Nico writhing underneath him. Following the path he knew Nico loved he nipped down his neck and across his chest. He loved the squeak that came from Nico as he alternated licks and nips on his nipple. Kimi used his knee to part Nico's legs and knelt between them as he licked and nipped down from his nipple to his belly button. After tormenting him with his tongue he slid his hands into the waistband of Nico's shorts and slipped them off. He slipped his own shorts off and reached into the bedside drawer and put the things he was looking for behind him. He could feel Nico start to tense a little so he stopped and looked straight into the younger man's eyes.

'You say stop and we stop. Okay? We only go as far as you are ready for. No matter how far it's okay to say stop.'

After Nico's eyes gave him silent permission he renewed his tongue's attack on Nico's sensitive belly button while allowing his hands to run up and down Nico's inner thighs, each time allowing his fingers to reach a little higher. By the time he allowed his tongue to sweep along Nico's cock the half-Finn-half-German was fisting the sheet in his hands making the most beautiful sounds. Squeezing a small blob of the cold liquid onto his finger Kimi kept his tongue working all over Nico's hardness before lightly pressing his finger in small circles all over his tight rosebud. Feeling Nico tense a little he took him into his mouth and felt him relax a little more. He didn't suck him hard or fast because he knew he had to take his time with his circling finger, which was now pressing a little harder on its target. Nico whimpered slightly as it pushed into him for the first time, but Kimi immediately stilled it.

'Relax Nico. I'm not going to go any further until you are ready. Just relax and enjoy it.'

The sensation of Kimi sucking him deep into his mouth relaxed Nico. He could feel Kimi's tongue brushing along the vein and the new sensation of Kimi's finger pushing deeper made his mind spin. By the time Kimi was sliding his finger in and out Nico was in an completely different headspace. Adding a second finger caused a little discomfort, but the glorious feeling of Kimi pushing Nico past his own gag reflex more than made it bearable. Using his other hand to roll Nico's balls meant it was Nico who asked for the third finger to be added. By now he was moaning wantonly at the multiple sensations of sucking and stretching and burning and rolling and just endless stimulation.

'Want you.'

'It'll still hurt Nico. I've done as much as I can, but it'll hurt a bit.'

Nico whined as Kimi twisted his fingers deep inside him, 'Don't care. Want you.'

Kimi quickly donned a condom and liberally coated himself in lube. His cock twitching at the wanton squeak Nico made as he withdrew his fingers. Slowly he pressed himself into Nico, giving Nico time to adjust to the new intrusion. He could see the flickers of pain on his lovers face, but Nico pulled on his hand to signal he wanted more. Eventually he was buried deep and he had to use every ounce of self-control not to just pull out and fuck Nico hard. Laid out before him was a panting, begging, beautiful blond and Kimi had never seen anything so stunning. Slowly he began to slide a little way out before slipping back in, spurred on by Nico's needy whines. It didn't last long, it was never going too, but the sight of Nico desperately grabbing his own cock to take himself over meant Kimi only needed a few more strokes before joining him in the abyss. Gently pulling out of his shattered lover he chucked the condom in the bin and pulled Nico into their usual position.

'I do love you Kimi.'

'I know. I love you too.'


	11. Chapter 11

The next 4 race weekends passed without real incident for them. They stuck to their usual routine of being together when not working and if people had begun notice then they didn't say anything. Nico mooted the idea of selling his apartment in Monte Carlo and moving to Switzerland, an idea that gathered pace when it turned out that Kimi's neighbours just happened to be selling up. Their relationship was unusual for one between two drivers. Relationships between drivers were, in themselves, not unusual, but they normally had an edge of mistrust. A line that was not crossed, yet with them that line was not there. Nico openly discussed Mercedes' plans over dinner and Kimi talked about Lotus' exhaust system over breakfast, both safe in the knowledge that as much as they both wanted to win they'd never use knowledge learned from one another to gain an advantage. They talked about it, well mainly Nico talked and Kimi listened, and they decided it was because they hadn't got together because they were drivers, but in spite of it.

Abu Dhabi was the pivotal point in the year in so many ways. It started as just a normal race weekend, but his appearance next to Nico during the build up to qualifying change all that. Kimi was trapped in conversation with Eric on about his car's chances and could only watch from the corner of his eye. Nico tried to keep his focus on the fans and tried desperately to ignore the keycard being slipped into his pocket.

'It weird the first time you see Kimi broken isn't it?'  
...  
...  
...  
'I remember the first time I seen him like that... All curled up in a beautiful ball... Sobbing his little heart out, all blond and boyish and all the sharp edges completely removed... It was beautiful.'

'You're sick.'

He just laughed and kept going on, 'He wasn't easy to break. I tried, I tried to get him into my bed, but he resisted so much... I don't have the clout you see... I was just another average driver... Nothing special... No titles or anything behind me... I had just about given up when someone offered to help me...'

Nico looked up at him incredulously, 'What are you talking about?'

'I don't know if I'm surprised that he hasn't told you or not... I was beginning to think that you were different... Special... Maybe not...' The vicious smirk returned to his face. 'You see Kimi was so very ambitious... He wanted to learn from the best... So the best offered to teach him a lesson for me...'

He let the words hang in the air long just enough for them to sick into Nico's brain. His head swirled and he had to hold on to the railing to stop himself swaying. 

'After that he was there... All broken and lost... So I saved him... I put him back together, just the way I wanted him... And that is why I'll always have him if I want him... It's also why he'll always need me... Always... He'll always need me more than he wants you... You give him that key Nico and you tell him that if he uses it tonight he can come back to me forever, but if he does not I'll no longer want him... I'll never touch him again... You do that and you see who he chooses.'

'I don't need to give him the card, I know he'd choose me.'

'Are you sure about that Nico? Are you really sure about that?'

With that he walked away leaving Nico with more questions than ever. 

After qualifying they were sat opposite each other in silence eating dinner. Unusually for them though it was an awkward silence rather than an easy one.

'What did he want?'

Nico wasn't sure he wanted this conversation. It could ruin everything forever, 'He wanted to give me that.' 

He placed the keycard on the table and watched Kimi's face. His reaction flicked between anger, confusion and hurt.

'Why? Why did he give you that? Why did you accept it?'

'I had no choice Kimi. I was in the middle of the paddock, I didn't want to draw attention to us.'

'Why?'

Nico fought the tears back, 'I've to give it to you. If you use it tonight you can have him forever. If you do not, if you choose me, then he'll never touch you again. Ever.'

Kimi felt as if he'd been punched in the stomach. His mind was swirling. He hated him. He'd hated him for a long time, but... he'd always been there. Kimi could always go crawling back. There was always that option when something when wrong, when life was dark, he could go there and he would take him apart - piece by piece - and then put him back together. 

'He said you'll always need him more than you want me.' The tears were running freely down Nico's face. He'd thought that after their nights together, after their experiences together it would be a simple choice. Since that first night when it had been all about Nico it had been about them both. They'd kept it slow and tender when Nico needed to be loved. He'd been left with fingertip shaped bruises on his hips when Kimi needed it hard and fast. They'd even had nights when despite the fact they were both hard they'd just lain together, sometimes talking and sometimes silent. Why wasn't it an easy choice?

'Do you want him?' Nico was terrified of the answer.

'No.' That was good, that was a definite. 

'It's just that...' That's not so definite. 

'It's just always been there. When I've needed it. I never even really thought about it.' That's kinda scary now. 

'It's just kinda scary to think of it not there.' 

The slamming of the door was the first time Kimi realised that Nico was gone. As he wept he slid off the chair and onto the floor, rocking back and forth as sobs wracked his body. He realised what he needed so he dragged himself up off the floor, dried his eyes, pocketed the keycard and headed off down the corridor.

He was a little surprised when he heard the lock click. He hadn't been entirely sure that Kimi would come. For a second he wondered if it could be Nico, but deep down he knew it wouldn't be. Nico was considerably tougher than he'd realised, probably tougher than Kimi realised. Maybe that was the way. Maybe it was the submissive ones that were actually the toughest. Kimi looked far from tough as he stood in the middle of the floor. Still clothed, but beautifully in position. He loved him in that position, legs apart giving easy access, palms out opening him to the world and eyes and chin down so that not only could he not see what he was doing, but getting a perfect view of his own body's reaction to it.

'What do you want Kimi?'

'I..... I....'

'You can't have it if you don't own your own desire for it.'

He smiled slightly as he watched Kimi's face as he fought an internal battle. People often made the mistake of believing that the moment of submission is when you allow someone else to control your climax or when you allowed them to use or mark your body. He knew though that this was the true moment. It wasn't when they did it to you, it was when you asked them to do it to you...

'I... I need... I need...'

'What do you need little one?'

Suddenly Kimi's head shot up, his guarded icy eyes wide and bright. 'I need to give you this back.'

As Kimi held out the keycard his hand trembled. Slightly confused he took it from him. 'Why?'

'I don't want it anymore.' Kimi's voice was stronger now. 'I don't need it anymore.'

'You'll always need me little one...'

Kimi's face was defiant now, 'Maybe deep down that is true, but I don't need you more than I want Nico. I don't need you more than I need Nico.' 

With strength in his step he marched to the door and place his hand on the handle.

'If you leave now there's no coming back little one.'

Turning round to face the tormenting voice he tried to keep his strong, 'Goodbye Mark.'


	12. Chapter 12

Kimi had searched everywhere for Nico, but couldn't find him. He'd have to wait for the Driver's parade, but he really wanted to put the niggly fear that he may have got to him aside before them. They didn't text each other anything slushy or important in case their phones ever fell into the wrong hands, but he decided that if there was ever a time to break a rule this was it.

The Mercedes mechanics were going about their business in a way that gave them the best chance to avoid Nico. He was in a foul mood and was being uncharacteristically bad tempered to everyone. To the extent that Ross ended up banishing him to his room until it was time to get in the car. The garage was as noisy as always so it was no surprise really that his abandoned phone went unheard.

The race was a real mix of emotions for Kimi. The Driver's parade was awful. Nico had completely ignored him and he hadn't responded to his message either. He hid his glistening eyes behind dark glasses and just mentally counted the hours until he could get on his plane and go home. Although without Nico even that wasn't the most appealing thought.

One of Kimi's best racing qualities was that he could shut his mind off to everything when he was in the car. So although he was a little grumpier towards the team over the radio than normal he just went about his business. He couldn't quite believe he'd got his first win since his comeback. It meant everything to him. It was slightly tarnished because he'd prefer to be sharing his success with Nico, but it was still good. Seb's fightback and enthusiasm, and the opportunity to wind Fernando up a little by ignoring him, meant he forgot to look for Nico's placing right away. He'd finished his media commitments, including having a giggle at DC's expense, grabbed his first beer and got the team photo out of the way by the time he looked at the full classification list.

'Blimey, another DNF for Merc? Not so good.'

'They'll just be happy Rosberg is ok after that smash today.'

Kimi thought his heart might actually stop, but he managed to keep his voice relatively casual, 'Was it a bad one?'

'Yeah mate. That's what the first safety car was for.'

'Wasn't that for Karthikeyan?' He had a sick feeling in his stomach.

'Yep, he lost all power or something and slowed right down. Rosberg went right over him and into the barrier. He's a lucky boy.'

'Sounds it.' 

Kimi tried to keep an nonchalant look on his face as he walked out of the garage and started a casual wander down the paddock. Pulling his phone from his pocket he called Nico, desperately hoping that the younger man would answer. Reaching the voicemail he paused for a second and decided he had nothing left to lose...

Nico was almost out the door when one of the mechanics called him back.

'Forgotten something? How would you reassure all your Twitterers that you are alive without it?'

Laughing Nico caught the phone and headed off to the hotel. Today had been the shittiest day ever. Lost his boyfriend and then seen his life flash before his eyes in the crash. He'd crashed before, but today he was amazed that a few aches and pains were all he'd escaped with. Noting the 9 missed calls he dialled for his voicemail to hear his mother's messages and after the 8th was surprised when she said she'd ring him tomorrow. Laughing lightly as the 9th started he wondered what excuse she'd give for calling again so soon, but stopped dead in his tracks when the voice started...

'Hey. It's me. I hope you are okay. I just heard. I meant every word of that text Nico, every word. I... I'm going back to the hotel. Hope to see you sometime.......soon.'

Trying to ignore all the people taking photos of him and politely ignore the ones looking for autographs he frantically flicked through the 40 text messages he'd received since putting his phone down for the race desperately trying to find the one he'd missed earlier.

Kimi was lying on the bed trying to concentrate on the football on the tv. He was ignoring all the invitations to celebrate his win because he simply wasn't in the mood. He was started when the room door flew open and he hardly had a moment to register what was going on before Nico was on top of him hugging him like he was going to disappear any second.

'Thought I'd lost you. Thought you'd gone back.'

Kimi rolled them over until Nico was on his back in his arms and held the young half-Finn-half-German tight.

'I thought I was going back, then I realised.'

'Realised what?'

'I told you in my text.'

Nico buried his head into his neck and his voice sounded shy and almost coy, 'I'd quite like to hear you say it.'

Kimi smiled and used two fingers under Nico's chin to tilt his head up until their eyes were locked together, 'I realised that I love you more than I ever needed him.'

Their soft kiss steadily grew as their remaining clothes were tossed aside. They celebrated multiple victories - Kimi's win, Nico's survival and their renewed strength. The next morning there were scratches and bruises and a few complaining neighbours, but mostly there was just togetherness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally the end. 
> 
> However there is one more. The next, and final, depicts what happened to make the neighbours complain ;) It's VERY graphic, but I'll post it if folks want to read it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A detailed description of Nico's night at Kimi's hand...

Kimi was lying on the bed trying to concentrate on the football on the tv. He was ignoring all the invitations to celebrate his win because he simply wasn't in the mood. He was startled when the room door flew open and he hardly had a moment to register what was going on before Nico was on top of him hugging him like he was going to disappear any second.

'Thought I'd lost you. Thought you'd gone back.'

Kimi rolled them over until Nico was on his back in his arms and held the young half-Finn-half-German tight.

'I thought I was going back, then I realised.'

'Realised what?'

'I told you in my text.'

Nico buried his head into his neck and his voice sounded shy and almost coy, 'I'd quite like to hear you say it.'

Kimi smiled and used two fingers under Nico's chin to tilt his head up until their eyes were locked together, 'I realised that I love you more than I ever needed him.'

Their soft kiss steadily grew as their hands began to wander. Nico broke the kiss eventually and looked at Kimi with big, nervous eyes...

'I want to...'

'Yeah, I kinda guessed that.' He laughed gently.

'No,' Nico looked like a shy schoolboy as he bit his lip, 'I want to go there. I want you to take me there...'

Kimi had to fight the urge to jump up, tie Nico to the bed and torture, but he had to be sure. Nico had to be sure...

'Nico, are...'

'I want this. I trust you. I want this. I want to give you this.'

Kimi nodded, his eyes darkening making Nico shiver. 'You've chosen your safeword?'

'Yes. I've chosen tangerine.'

The choice of safeword impressed Kimi. The last time they'd spoken about it he hadn't seemed to grasp the concept properly and he'd half expected Nico to choose stop or something that could slip out unexpectedly. The fact he'd chosen an appropriate one sent a shiver right down Kimi's cock. Nico was ready for this and he was going to enjoy it.

'Okay. This is what I want you to do... Are you listening Nico?'

'Yes... Listening.'

'I want you to get up and strip off. Then I want you to get me the condoms and lube from the drawer. Put them there on the cabinet so that I can reach them easily. I am going to sit on that chair and then when you are ready you are going to come over and lay over my lap.... Got all that?'

'Strip. Condoms. Lube. Chair. Lap. Got it.'

Kimi stifled a smile at Nico's confused frown when he seen him slipping his jeans back on before sitting on the chair. The preparations were as much about wriggling into Nico's head as they were essential prep. By the time Nico nervously approached the chair his cock was already hard. Taking a deep breath Nico bent himself over Kimi's lap leaving the older Finn fighting a groan at the sight as he shifted his legs to support the younger man's weight. 

As Kimi adjusted his legs to better support Nico's weight his jean-clad leg came to rest next to his already aching cock causing Nico to groan. The reason for his re-clothing became apparent to Nico and his mind began to spin. He knew what was coming and he quickly realised that with every spank his cock was going to rub against the rough denim.  
'  
'Are you ready Nico?'

'Yes.' Nico's breathy voice made Kimi smile.

He waited long enough for Nico to twitch his hips slightly before bringing his hand down onto Nico's arse. The slapping sound accompanied by Nico's wail was, Kimi thought, even more beautiful than his squeak.

By the time Kimi had rained 10 blows down Nico was a writhing mess. His cock was leaking pre-come all over Kimi's jeans and Kimi had had to use his left arm to pin him down to stop him being able to seek the friction he really, really wanted.

Waiting until Nico had calmed a little Kimi cruelly asked his wriggling mess to reach up and pass him the lube. Trembling Nico reached to the cabinet and passed the small bottle up to Kimi. He groaned at the simple sound of the lid being flipped opened and then cried out loud as the cold liquid was squeezed onto his cleft and began to follow a gravitational trail down between his cheeks. Kimi rested the bottle on the small of his back...

'Stay still, we don't want that to fall...'

Nico groaned as Kimi's index finger started to follow the trail of the cold lube, gently pressing until it rested on his tight hole. As he started to press small circles around it Nico's moans got more and more wanton.

'Tell me what you want Nico, what do you want me to do with my finger? Tell me.'

'Eerrgghhh... In,' he managed to gasp out, 'I want it in.'

In one smooth pressing motion Kimi pressed his finger past Nico's tight ring, this time not stopping to give him time to adjust, but pressing until it was in completely and then stilling. Nico tried to buck his hips, desperate for the sensation of being fucked, but Kimi held him tight.

'Please Kimi... Please.'

'You want more?' He asked wriggling his finger across the sweet spot slightly making Nico howl with desire.

Kimi knew he wasn't going to be able to keep this up much longer, much more and Nico's noise was going to get them kicked out of the hotel. Much more and he wasn't going to be able to keep his own hard-on under control. So in a perfunctory manner he slipped his finger out of Nico and slipped two back in. Deliberately missing Nico's sweet spot he concentrated on stretching the young man, readying him for himself. Gripping his fingers into Nico's hair he pulled his head around until he was looking at him, balancing the pain of the hair by raking across his prostate at the same time. 

'I'm going to fuck you... You are not going to come until I tell you... Okay?'

The mere thought of being forced to wait made Nico squeak and his head nodded, unconsciously pulling on his own hair. The wanton moan as Kimi pulled his fingers out and manhandled him towards the bed brought a shout of complaint from the room next door, but both were too far gone to give a shit.

Kimi stripped off his jeans and rolled a condom onto his dripping cock. Coating his cock in lube he had to be careful not to squeeze too hard as the vision of Nico on his hands and knees, arse - open arse - in the air waiting for him was just amazing. 

Kneeling behind him Kimi pressed against him and Nico wailed as he rested there...

'If you want it then come and get it Nico...'

Nico thought he was going to pass out. He was pushing back against Kimi and the sensation as he impaled himself was over-whelming. The stretching burn was battling in his brain with the incredible fullness and lust. As the head popped past his ring he stilled for a second, but sharp slap told him to keep moving. Only when he felt Kimi's pelvis pressing against his still sore arse was he able to stop and adjust to the feeling.

Resting longer than normal Nico couldn't help, but whine as Kimi rolled his hips slightly. The wriggling caused Kimi's skin to press and scratch across his reddened cheeks which was sore, but blissful.

Suddenly Kimi's hand wrapped in his hair pulled his head back forcing him to arch his back which pulled Kimi's cock even slightly deeper.

'You ready Nico?'

'Yes... Please...' His voice was pleading

Steadying Nico's wavering by planting one arm around his waist, resting teasingly close too, but completely ignore his cock, Kimi used Nico's hair as his leverage as he pulled almost completely out before slamming back in.

Taking up that furious, hard rhythm Nico began to beg, his release so very close. His pleading voice was almost as glorious to Kimi as his tight channel constricting around him as he fought to control himself. 

'Please... Please... Please... Please...' 

Became Nico's mantra, but Kimi knew there was more to come. After relentlessly pounding him he could hear Nico's tone getting higher and higher and then his please became even more desperate...

'Please... Bitte... Bitte Kimi...'

Just as Nico thought he was going to lose control he tugged his hair even harder before giving him the words he was craving.

'Come now Nico'

Nico's scream and clenching muscles threw Kimi over the edge with him. Collapsing in a heap Nico wailed as Kimi's softening cock pulled out of him. Sat on his heels looking at his young lover Kimi thought he'd never seen anything so beautiful. Nico's hair was more than dishevelled, his arse cheeks were still pink which made a beautiful contrast to the rest of his skin, he had scratches on his hips and his tight hole was red and obviously used...

Kimi chucked the condom in the bed and pulled his still shivering lover into his arms and wrapped them both in the duvet. If this was the start Kimi couldn't wait to see what more the future had to offer.


End file.
